Nobody wants to hear about your first class flight to Baja. The most amazing meal you stumbled across when your incidental connection funneled you into a two-top of a nine star Michelin restaurant in Paris with a 26 year waiting list. This is all bullshit. Great. So happy for anyone’s super good fortune and exceptional luck. Just kidding. No one wants to hear these stories. They make people angry. We want misery.

This is why I’m not going to write about days four and five. Nothing happened. Nothing anyone wants to hear about. The Jeep ran fine. We made it to Healdsburg, California for Diana’s birthday. My parents, who we hadn’t seen in two years, joined us for a lovely meal at one of Sonoma County’s top vineyards, and we took a deep a breath. Kéa was not orphaned. With the Jeep safely parked in San Leandro awaiting instructions for leg two, we made our flight back to Alaska. JeepChryslerDodge 1. Your reading pleasure 0.


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